| What is an optimistic child? A brief definition of an optimistic child is a child who feels secure in his or her world. A child who takes responsibility for and learns from her or his mistakes. A child who is able to make good decisions and understands the consequences of those decisions. A child with good social skills, acting assertively in social situations rather than withdrawing or becoming aggressive. A child who acknowledges defeat or loss without crumbling to it and victory or gain without it going to his head. A child who feels at ease with expressing healthy emotions. |
| |
| Optimistic children aren't born optimistic and optimism isn't about always being cheerful and happy. The truth is, not all children are bubbly and extroverted. That is genetically passed down to them. Rather, an optimistic child realizes that she or he will ups and downs and that any particular feeling will pass. |
| |
| Hardwired in the brain are four basic feeling states: mad, glad, sad and scared. Every human experiences these feeling states. It is perfectly natural for a child to feel sad when a favorite pet dies, to feel scared when she encounters an unsafe situation, to feel mad when he fails to get a desired thing and to feel glad when he or she obtains a desired thing. Feelings are fluid and situational. A pessimistic child though gets stuck in a feeling state and often blames herself for outcomes outside her control. |
| |
| A primary difference between optimistic and pessimistic children is how they explain the world around them. And this is taught to them by parents and other adults who are influential in their lives. This is not intentional, it just happens. Over time, a child simply begins to have automatic thoughts about why things happen without questioning individual experiences. Outcomes are interpreted as permanent or temporary, pervasive or specific and personal or external. |
| |
| For example, Andy gets a failing grade in math. Pessimistic Andy might interpret that to mean he is not good in math and stop trying to learn it. Optimistic Andy might interpret it as having spent too much time playing so he was unprepared for the exam and prepare himself more for the next exam. |
| |
| Other skills necessary for raising an optimistic child include reducing catastrophe thinking and disputing negative thoughts. If your child easily gives up trying to learn new tasks it is likely because of one of these two thinking patterns. |
| |
| Additionally, parents and significant adults who want to raise an optimistic child must help the child boost her or his social skills and problem solving skills. |
| |
| In his best selling book The Optimistic Child, Martin E.P. Seligman revealed the formula used to change a pessimistic child into an optimistic one. The four dimensions listed above are part of that formula. |
| |
| By becoming more active in teaching your child these skills, and modeling them in your own life you are creating an environment that will help inoculate your child from childhood mental illness, poor social skills and low frustration tolerance while increasing self esteem, boosting school performance and developing a greater sense of satisfaction in life. |
| |
| Return to Optimistic Child Class List and Schedules |
